After days of troubleshooting, I've come to the conclusion that my issue is likely the (well known) electrolytic capacitor burnout. The screen has a very mild backlight flicker when I send the OS. Judging by people who have advanced forms of the disease, if I dont get it fixed, one day soon old red won't even turn on anymore.
Unfortunately, I always used to get stoned before 10th grade electronics lab, and now find circut boards really intimidating. A guy over in Castle Hill is about to feed his wallet off my insecurity.